Auditions

So, I have now been to all of my classes. It seems like it's going to be a tough, but fun semester.

About the title...
I had registered for a class called Music 88: Campus Choir, which is basically choir for people who want to sing but can't really. I was taking it for an easy A. The professor was talking about how if we thought the class was too easy, we should audition for a different choir. I thought, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" I was pretty confident going into the audition that I was just going to stick with Music 88 because I was guaranteed to get an A even if I did make it into another choir.

Well, let me tell you.

I auditioned for the Campus choir professor and the professor who directs the choir I sang with my first semester. I really didn't want to be in the choir I was before, so I kind of implied that I had conflict with that class even though I don't. My audition went okay, considering I haven't sung classically in over a year; really airy, I sang a note wrong in the tone memory section, whatever. (I was being pretty hard on myself, though. I kept thinking, "What are you doing?! You sang in freaking Carnegie Hall! You can do so much better!") I was hoping to get into Women's Chorale, which is the all women's choir that practices at the same time as University Choir.

But no. I get put right back where I was before: in University Choir. The lowest of the real choirs. I just keep beating myself up about it.

I've been texting my friend, Katelyn, who is a voice major here at Penn State. She says that University Choir is totally fine. I don't know.

I'm not even sure why I'm so upset about this. It's not like any of my future depends on my being in choir. It's not the end-all-be-all for any aspect of my life.

I was just spoiled in high school: being in all of the singing groups in school and being a part of the county honors choir.

But then again, I never even made District Choir. Sure, I was close; I placed 32nd, 27th, and 29th, sophomore, junior, and senior year, respectively (they take the top 25). But I never actually got in. It's frustrating. Being told you're really good at something by the people you work with, but then having proof otherwise. But this is how my life always is. "Oh! You're so good at that!" but not really. It's like being friendzoned by everything you ever do ever.

And now I have a class from 3:55 to 5:15 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Great.