I Don't Like The Electoral College

That's pretty much it. I remember when I was doing research for my speech about Third Parties and there was a whole bunch of stuff about the Electoral College and how much it sucks. I just watched the Crash Course US History video about the Constitution, and John Green says he also dislikes the Electoral College. I mean, it made sense back in the 17 and 18 hundreds, but nowadays, the majority of people are educated enough to make their own decisions about who they want the president to be.

Annoying Cousin Is Annoying

My 11-turning-12-year-old cousin is here right now. She and her sister were dropped off by their dad around 5:30. The elder cousin had marching band practice from 6 to 9, so I had to drive her over to the high school earlier. The younger and I decided to watch Captain America. But then, she decided that she didn't want to watch the movie anymore, she wanted to play video games. I wanted to watch the movie, so I said no. Then she griped and moaned and complained for the rest of the movie. I told her she could go somewhere else if she didn't want to watch the movie. She decided to start singing to annoy me.

I just want her to grow up. I remember when it used to be her sister that my sister and I couldn't stand. That was back before she was, like, 5 years old and her sister was 8. Now, she thinks she's the center of the universe. If you don't want what she wants, you're wrong. I'm anxious for her going to junior high next year. She's going to get the reality check of her life.

Unexpectedly Decent Day

Happy Memorial Day to all of you United States-ians! This was the first time in years that my family didn't go to the parade downtown! Instead, we went to Susquehanna River, parts of which are only 20 minutes from my house. But the other people we went with wanted to drive 45 minutes to a different part. Whatever. I was kind of dreading today because I knew that my best friend had to work, so it was me, my parents, my best friend's brother and parents, and another friend of mine from high school who's a year younger, her parents, and her half-brother. I thought it was going to be totally awkward, but it was actually a lot of fun! I've never been on the river with other people in other boats before. Usually, it's just my family and whoever we bring along to go out on our boat. I also unexpectedly got to see two of my friends whom I probably haven't seen for the better part of 6 years. So, while I only got 6 hours of sleep last night, it was a good day.

Are These Emotions or Hormones?: A Story of a No-Longer-A-Teenage Girl

I feel angry right now. I'm not sure why. I'm just pissed off at the world. Mostly at my mom. And not for any real reason. I feel trapped. I want to talk to somebody, but I don't want to talk to anybody. I want to go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow morning and it's 2018 and I have an awesome job that I love and a cute little apartment in LA with my boyfriend and we have dogs and a cat and some fish and a view of the sunset over the Pacific through our tiny windows. I want to be responsible for myself. I want to have real choices. I want to choose who I spend my time with, not have social interactions thrust upon me by my parents. I hate being an inbetweener. I'm not a child or even a teenager anymore. But I'm not actually an adult yet. I still live with my parents; I'm still almost totally dependent on them for all of my needs. And trust me, I know how "blessed" I am to have grown up in the upper middle class and not to have needed to start working when I was 14 and all that jazz. I'm just ready for the next stage of my life to begin. Huh. I just realized how appropriate my vlog for this week is going to be.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree (So They Say)

Sometimes, it blows me away how similar I am to each of my parents. I'm majoring in engineering, like my dad. I like science and math and working with my hands. I like watching baseball games and rough housing with other kids and boating. As with my mom, I like to read books, any and all. I like to be by myself sometimes and I like cleaning and baking (occasionally). And then, like both of my parents, I like music and dogs and plants and car rides and travelling. I think I'm also a good balance of girl and boy since my sister and I don't have any brothers. Not that I consider myself a tomboy or anything. I just think I'm a girl who's not so girly as to be creepy, but not so tomboy-ish as to be considered "one of the guys." I have a really strange sense of humor that my parents swear I didn't get from them, but who introduced me to Monty Python? Huh? Dad? Huh?

But then, there are other times when I can't even believe I am the product of these two people. I get really frustrated with my mom whenever I talk about living in California when I'm older. She always says that she wants both my sister and I to stay in Pennsylvania, but that's not the life I want. I want to live somewhere where it's warm all the time and the pace of life is a bit slower than here on the East Coast. (Not that this stupid state even touches the Atlantic Ocean...) My mom moved around a lot when she was young due to my grandfather working for the radio company. I think one time she told me she lived in 12 states by the time she was 14, or something like that. My mom likes to take vacations to other places, but she always likes to come back to cozy little southern PA where nothing exciting happens. I want to travel the world, to use a cliche. I want to live and work in England for 2 years. I want to visit Spain for a month. Then I want to live in Cali, where it's only a few hours to Mexico in one direction, and a few hours to the Rocky Mountains in another. Sometimes, I'm jealous of my sister because she's living in Austria currently. She's been there since September and she's coming home in just over 2 weeks. My mom keeps saying how she thinks Jessica is ready to come home, but I wouldn't be so sure. Yeah, maybe she's ready to hear English all around her again, but I think that once she finds a career, she's getting out of PA as fast as she possibly can. Her ideal is to teach German at a high school in New Jersey. But I think she'd be happier if she met a nice Austrian boy and had cute Austrian children and got to speak Austrian German all the time instead of coming back to this country.
Then there's my dad. This is what sparked this whole post. Tonight at dinner, he was talking about what he did throughout the day. I think he said he was a Pep Boys (a car parts shop thing) when he saw two bigger guys with beards sitting together and one was rubbing the other's arm. Then the following dialogue happened:
Dad: It was gross.
Me: What? Why was it gross?
Dad: It's just unnatural!
And that's when I realized that I am not like my dad AT ALL when it comes to political, religious, or life topics. Sure, we might share some personality traits and hobbies, but I could not have more different opinions. First of all, he was assuming that the two men are in a romantic relationship. Maybe they're brothers. Maybe they're good friends and one of them was having a bad day, so the other guy was comforting him. Maybe the one guy's wife died recently and the other guy has known both of them since college and it's just a thing for them to be physical with one another to show their affection. Second of all, I totally support homosexual relationships. Heck, I support any healthy relationship between two adults. I know my dad was raised in a different era or whatever, but it just pisses me off that he's so close-minded when it comes to this stuff. One time, my sister asked my mom what she thought our paternal grandparents would do if one of our cousins came out. My mom said that they should probably just not tell our grandparents. And I agree. My grandparents are from a completely different generation. Like, my grandpa is turning 91 this year. My dad and his three brothers were all brought up very conservative Lutheran Christian and even though my dad now identifies as an Agnostic, I think he still finds it hard to cast away his old beliefs and biases. I just find it strange sometimes that my sister and I (and even our mom) are so alike on an issue on which my dad has the opposite opinion. If two people are in love, nobody else's opinion matters. And I'd rather not have garbage like, "It's unnatural!" spewed where I can hear.
This has been a rant.

It's Raining Outside, On My Face, And In My Heart: A Supernatural Blog Post

I just finished season 5 of SPN last night. I cried twice. nbd. I would say that I've never felt so attached to a tv show, but then I'd be lying. I get super emotionally attached to, like, everything and everyone. So it's fine. But, oh man. I knew Swan Song was going to make me cry just because my [insert adjective that is better than best] friend, Sarah, to whom I always talk about my Supernatural viewings, asked when I was watching it in the following manner: WHEN DO YOU WATCH SWAN SONG. Not even a question mark. That's when you know you will feel all the feels. Luckily, I have Netflix and can just hit "Next Episode." Excuse me while I go watch season 6.

Had A Job Interview

this morning at 10. It was for a grocery store near where I currently reside.

Also, I made a thing:
http://youtu.be/N6bxCbWiEbk

Getting Frustrated Because Nothing

I was driving home from Sam's Club earlier (a giant, bulk grocery store, for those of you who don't know), when I became inexplicably frustrated. I don't even know what I as thinking about when the thought, "I should be in Los Angeles right now" popped into my head. If you've been keeping up to date with this blog, then you'll know what that sentence means and why (sort of) I thought it. Then I had to drive to the Saloon to turn in my application, but it doesn't open until 4-FREAKING-PM. I was there around 2:30. I then drove home and had to unload the heavy, bulky things from the trunk of my car. So, yes. I keep becoming frustrated for really stupid reasons.

Applying For ANOTHER Job

Went out to dinner with my parents to a restaurant in my town called The Great American Saloon. I know a few people who have worked there over the years. I really don't want to serve food again this summer, but they seem to be the only places hiring. Meh.

Busy, But Not Really

I've been rather busy the past few days, but not actually.

By busy, I mean watching Supernatural at an inhuman speed. Like, a few days ago, I was on season 4. I'm now halfway through season 5. It's just SO GOOD. I feel all the feels. And today was my church's talent show, so I had to practice for that. I played my ukulele and sang T Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble (PERIOD)." It was meh. And Friday was pretty busy. I had a lot of chores to do around the house and things. But now I'm finally caught up on Doctor Who, so I get on tumblr again.

Yesterday Was A Strange Day

I actually had things to do yesterday. Like, errands and stuff. I woke up at 8 like always, read my book in bed til 9, showered and got ready and took my medicine I've been on for a week now. I went to Dunkin to get an iced coffee to use up two gift cards that only had a whopping total of $2.29 on them combined. Then I went to the grocery store to recycle some plastic bags and buy milk. I went from there to the UPS store to drop off a package for my dad. I was debating whether or not to stop at home and put the milk away or just go straight to the library. I decided to go straight to the library. When I got there, I got a volunteer application. Side note: turns out you need two background checks to be allowed to volunteer at the library if you're over 18. Anyway. I went back to my car and it decided that it didn't feel like turning on. Called my dad and he said to wait an hour and try again. Luckily, I had my book with me, so I took my milk, my book, and myself and went back into the library. The library people were nice enough to put my milk in their fridge while I waited an hour to try turning my car on again. An hour later, it still didn't turn on. My mom had called me to see what I was doing and I told her the whole situation. She said I could walk down to the high school, where she was subbing yesterday, and get her car keys and drive her van home. So that's what I did. The high school is only a five minute walk down a hill from the library, so it wasn't that bad. But the whole time everything was going on, I felt super dizzy and out of it because of my medication. Then, when I got home, I accidentally put a metal twist-tie in the microwave and it caught on fire. So that was fun. On the plus side, I got to go to yoga last night and skype with my Boy. That made my day a lot better.

Tediousness

I can already tell that I'm going to strongly dislike my English class I'm taking online this summer. It's called English 202C: Technical Writing. Our very first assignment is a worksheet analyzing the effectiveness of technical writings, either a guide, an application, or a booklet. I chose to analyze the guide. It's super boring. It's about how to properly set up a first aid program for a company so they don't get sued or whatever. I have to analyze its effectiveness and conciseness and honest and integrity and the swimsuit competition and blah blah blah blah. I feel like I won't get to the point in my career where I'm going to be writing technical papers. I'm not planning on being a supervisor or lead engineer or anything. I just want to build and test satellites. Is that too much to ask? I mean, I know I'll need this later in my university career, but I don't see it helping me that much in the far future. Luckily, I elected to take this class online, so the professor won't see me roll my eyes every five minutes. I'm also glad I decided to take this class over the summer. I feel so bad for all the other poor Aero kids who are just following the curriculum guide and taking it in the fall semester. This class is going to bore their brains out.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Also known as THE BEST ANIMATED TELEVISION SHOW OF ALL TIME. In my opinion, at least. I just finished rewatching all of seasons 2 and 3. If you don't know, there were only 3 season. The finale was an epic four part episode in which all shit hits the fan and all elements are bent beyond imagination. And I just recently rediscovered that there are books that span the gap between ATLA and LOK (Avatar: The Legend of Korra). And I just discovered for the first time that there is a graphic novel depicting Zuko's time before Aang was freed from the iceberg. Which I just bought on Amazon for 5 bucks. WORTH IT. I mean, I've been obsessed with ATLA since it aired in 2005, but now I'm really immersing myself in the obsession. I think this is what happened with Harry Potter a few years ago...

I'm going to rewatch LOK tomorrow and the rest of this week. Once I get a job, I'm planning on using half of my first paycheck to buy as many of the in between books as I can.

Now I have to go make spaghetti.

I guess I probably should've done some of my class work today....After dinner, then, I suppose.

Adult Conversations With Adults

I hung out with my very good friend, Zach last night after attending my alma mater's band concert. We both know very much about the other's life. We talked about a lot of different topics: people from high school and what they're up to now and all of the accomplishments they've achieved, our respective relationships, our families, how the spring semester went. It was very adult conversation. I mean, Zach and I have always been on pretty much the same maturity level since eighth grade, so our conversations have usually had a bit more depth comparatively. But last night, it seemed a bit different. We're both 20 years old now, his birthday being in January and mine in February. It was the first time I've talked to someone from high school about the concept of marriage. Victoria and I did talk about marriage a bit during finals week, but nothing significant. With Zach last night, it felt real. One thing I said to him was, "We could get married within the next two years and it would be totally socially acceptable." I don't know. Zach just has this way of making me be totally and completely honest. I know I can tell him anything, so I usually end up telling him everything. But the marriage thing. I freaked myself out with that sentence. And now I just keep thinking about it. I'm in a relationship now, so I do have to seriously consider the end goal. I also keep freaking myself out about being in a long distance relationship. I mean, we have been friends since second semester, but I feel like I still don't know him as well as some of my other friends. Zach asked me what I'd get him for his birthday, and I could only tell him his favorite kind of cake and his favorite tv show. But thinking about it now, we have only been together for two weeks. It feels so much longer because I haven't seen him since we Skyped on Wednesday night and I haven't seen him in person since I came home a week and two days ago. I just keep having doubts and I want to talk to him about it, but it doesn't seem like the thing to talk about over text messaging. And that's all we're going to be able to do pretty soon. His job starts tomorrow and it's a normal day job. He wakes up at 5:30 in the morning to go in with his dad and then works all day until, like, 4 pm. If I get the job at Gymboree, I'll probably start work around 3 pm and not get off until the mall closes at 10 pm, which is when he goes to sleep to wake up at 5:30. Gah! So, once I get a job, I'll never even be able to text him except on weekends. I don't like being an adult.

I Miss My Old Summer Vacation

When I was younger, like elementary school younger, my family always took awesome trips during summer vacation. We went to loads of cool places that aren't totally on the other end of the Earth, but just far enough that I never felt like I was still close to home. We went to places like South Carolina, Florida, Maryland, New Jersey, and even to Hawaii once. Each place was a brand new experience and I looked forward to our trips very much. The grandest trips of all, of course, were the two times I went to Europe; once with my family to Germany, Austria, and France, and once by myself to Spain. Those two trips were during high school summer vacations. Space Camp in Alabama was another high school summer vacation. But now that I'm in college, I have to have a job and take classes during the summer. I can't go on big trips. Not to mention the financial burden that is college. I'm afraid that my time for travelling is over. I'm afraid I won't get into my study abroad program. And then, even if I do, I won't have enough time to see everything I want to. And if I get an internship for the summer after study abroad, I won't have any time to travel after the semester is over. I'm seeing a bunch of my friends' Facebook uploads about the trips they're on right now and I'm worried that I'll never have that opportunity again. Yes, I know I've traveled more than some people do their entire lives, but I love travelling. I love experiencing new things and making new memories and learning new things. Sometimes, I feel like college is just a restraint from all of that. I'm jealous of all the people that are graduating from college and starting their lives. I want to be able to go where I want and do what I want and be in good company. I guess this post is more like "I'm ready for my real life" than that I want to go back to the old ways. To use a Harry Potter quote, "I've done my waiting. Twelve years of it. In the educational system."

Ready For Routine

I've turned in all my job applications now. I bought my online code for my Beatles class that I'm taking and I can't access my other class until Monday. I'm so ready to have a summer routine. I want to be hired and have school work to do. Ideally, I'll be hired at the Gymboree at the York Galleria and work there Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings and Saturday all day. Then I'll have the mornings, Wednesdays, and Sundays to do school work and hang out and what not. I don't know if I'll take more than one job if they're offered. I mean, money is always a good thing to have, but like my mom said, I need time to do school work and relax and do fun things. Hmmm. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I'll hopefully also join the local gym once I get settled into my job that I'll hopefully get. I'm just tired of waking up in the morning and not really having anything to do. Yesterday and today I had the job search, but tomorrow, the only thing I have planned is going to my high school's band concert.

Applying to ALL the Jobs!

I'm actually going to leave my house today. I swear. I mean, I did leave my house yesterday for quite a while, but that's because I was forced.

I just got an e-mail from Target. "Sorry, we're not hiring you right now." Great. Thanks.

Hopefully today goes better than all of my online applications. I am going to look up which stores have online applications, though. I should probably do that now...

Lazy Lazy Lazy Lazy

That's what I am. Because it's summer vacation and I have NOTHING to do. I've been applying for jobs online and such and watching a lot of Supernatural. But there are no pressing needs. Therefore, I totally forget about writing this blog. Yesterday was another lazy day. I didn't even shower. Shhhhhhhhhh. The only time I left the house was to go see my high school's Madrigal choir perform their yearly "concert." Today isn't much busier. I'm going to a local grocery store to see if they're accepting summer applications. My mom and I are going out to lunch then to my dermatologist appointment in Lancaster. Tonight, we're going to a local church for a yoga class that is taught by my friend's mom. Maybe I'll see if The Boy can Skype tonight. Just so you know, I'm not complaining. My sister is still working full swing in Austria, teaching kids English and such. I know of a lot of people who are still working because their jobs don't have a summer break. I feel lucky that I'm still at that age where I can just have a summer job for three months then quit and no one says anything because that's what a summer job is. Although I'll probably stick with this year's job until Christmas then quit. If I'm studying abroad, that is.

Spring Cleaning!

Today, I reorganized my closet and dresser drawers. Actually, I just rearranged my closet and cleaned out my drawers and closet. But thinking about it now, maybe I should reorganize my drawers. Drawers. Now it doesn't sound like a word in my head. I have three and a half trash bags full of clothes to get rid of/donate/sell. I still need to clean out the bottom of my closet, which I haven't done in years. That's going to be interesting...

I started another blog today. It will be for when I study abroad and is located here. I've only written one post thus far, because, obviously, I'm not in England yet. I'll know for sure on June 15th.

I called my internship recruiter lady today. She said that they found other candidates who are better suited to the internship than I am. So that kinda sucks. But, oh well. I also quit my job today. But I've applied to eight new jobs. I just really don't like working in the food industry. I'm going to try my hand at retail this summer.

I Miss Independence

I know I've only been home for two days, but I already miss school. I miss my room that I half owned for the school year. I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted, whether it be Commons food, delivery, or frozen foods. I miss being able to stay up all hours of the night with people my age. I miss my friends. I miss places that actually stay open past ten at night. I miss being able to walk everywhere I needed to go. I miss not having my parents tell me where to go and what to do and who to talk to. I miss not having to apply to jobs. I miss having actual, productive things to do.

"Home" for a College Kid

I'm home now. And by home, I mean my parents' house.

Home is a confusing term for a kid in college/university. As the old saying goes, "Home is where the heart is."  But where is my heart now? Sure, I grew up in this house; it's where I spent most of my time for the first 18 years of my life. But this house no longer feels as "home" as it once did.

My dorm building at Penn State is one of my homes. Although I've technically lived in two different rooms in the building, I've spent so much time in so many different rooms that I'm comfortable throughout the whole building. Rooms 323 and 206, where I lived with Victoria; the Piano lounge, where I had to go to get internet most of second semester freshman year; my friends' rooms where groups of us would hang out and watch movies and study and complain about life. I'm sure that living there for five semesters makes/will make it count as my home.

If home is where the heart is and my heart is with my boy, then is that my home? I've never been to his parents' house, but hopefully I will visit there sometime this summer. Sure, we've only been together a week, but we're totally comfortable around each other. We've been friends for over a year and a half and close friends for a few months.

What about when I (hopefully) study abroad for the spring 2014 semester? What if I do end up getting that internship in LA? The apartment I'm planning on getting my senior year? Which of these places is home? Will my parents' house always be "home"? What about when they don't live here anymore? These are the questions of a confused college girl whose brain doesn't know what to do now that the semester is over and her online classes don't start until next week.

Done My Sophomore Year of College

I had my last final today at 8 am. It was probably the hardest one. It was also my Spanish class. Tell me how that makes sense...

I also finally got to season 4 of Supernatural today! Yay, Misha Collins! I'm super tired. I packed up my car with most of my stuff so that it doesn't take so long to pack my parents' van tomorrow morning. I'm excited to go home. This semester went really quickly. But now my brain doesn't know what to do. I've been studying so hard these past few weeks (that might be a lie, I'm not sure) so now that I've nothing to do, my brain is just like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.