Adult Conversations With Adults

I hung out with my very good friend, Zach last night after attending my alma mater's band concert. We both know very much about the other's life. We talked about a lot of different topics: people from high school and what they're up to now and all of the accomplishments they've achieved, our respective relationships, our families, how the spring semester went. It was very adult conversation. I mean, Zach and I have always been on pretty much the same maturity level since eighth grade, so our conversations have usually had a bit more depth comparatively. But last night, it seemed a bit different. We're both 20 years old now, his birthday being in January and mine in February. It was the first time I've talked to someone from high school about the concept of marriage. Victoria and I did talk about marriage a bit during finals week, but nothing significant. With Zach last night, it felt real. One thing I said to him was, "We could get married within the next two years and it would be totally socially acceptable." I don't know. Zach just has this way of making me be totally and completely honest. I know I can tell him anything, so I usually end up telling him everything. But the marriage thing. I freaked myself out with that sentence. And now I just keep thinking about it. I'm in a relationship now, so I do have to seriously consider the end goal. I also keep freaking myself out about being in a long distance relationship. I mean, we have been friends since second semester, but I feel like I still don't know him as well as some of my other friends. Zach asked me what I'd get him for his birthday, and I could only tell him his favorite kind of cake and his favorite tv show. But thinking about it now, we have only been together for two weeks. It feels so much longer because I haven't seen him since we Skyped on Wednesday night and I haven't seen him in person since I came home a week and two days ago. I just keep having doubts and I want to talk to him about it, but it doesn't seem like the thing to talk about over text messaging. And that's all we're going to be able to do pretty soon. His job starts tomorrow and it's a normal day job. He wakes up at 5:30 in the morning to go in with his dad and then works all day until, like, 4 pm. If I get the job at Gymboree, I'll probably start work around 3 pm and not get off until the mall closes at 10 pm, which is when he goes to sleep to wake up at 5:30. Gah! So, once I get a job, I'll never even be able to text him except on weekends. I don't like being an adult.